The Sheffield Narrowboats unofficial guide to...
The Basics of Boating on the UK Inland Waterways
Quick Checklist (print out and keep handy) for you and your crew.
Safety
TURN OFF THE ENGINE IMMEDIATELY
Stay calm, it may very well be that after a second or two they'll find they can stand up (a lot of canals and rivers are not very deep). Think carefully before throwing the life-ring - if you do, please don't throw it at them - it may seem fairly lightweight to you, but at speed, hitting them on the head with it could knock them out and make things worse. Throw life-rings 'near to' them. Better still, see if you can reach them with your bargepole or boathook - both of which are to hand on the roof in front of the cockpit.
If you smell gas inside the main cabin turn off the main gas stop-cock (located in the gas locker) immediately. Open all doors and windows, moor at the earliest opportunity and vacate the boat.
Once safely on the towpath or bank, call us immediately. DO NOT use your mobile telephone onboard if you suspect a gas leak.
NEVER allow diesel to spill into the canal or river.
Dial 999 or 112 from your cellular phone (DO NOT DIAL 911 in the UK), stay calm and listen to what the operator says. Speak calmly, and clearly, you are in very safe hands and help will be with you very quickly.
Do not, under any circumstances, ever, for any reason, get back on the boat, ever, really, we mean it.
Move well away from the boat, alert those moored near to you.
Await the attendance of the Fire and Rescue Service.
DO NOT RETURN TO THE BOAT
OK, that's out of the way, once you've memorised it, try to memorise the rest:
Boat Handling
No two locks are ever the same. Each exhibits their own 'personality', with little quirks and characteristics that will leave you either loving or loathing them!
Whether small narrow single locks or broad, long automated commercial locks, there are a few things to always bear in mind:
This is all pretty much common-sense, however the most dangerous part of any lock is the CILL - a concrete or stone ledge lurking under the water. The position will usually be marked in white paint on the side of the lock. Keep the boat well clear of the CILL, as the water goes down the boat can easily catch and this is a common cause of sinking boats in locks, so:
Having said all this, locks are some of the best, and most enjoyable parts of the boating experience. Many of the older locks still bear the Masons mark, carved into each individual stone or block. This is how the 'Gaffer' would calculate daily pay, based upon the number of marks and consequently, work undertaken.
Mooring
Courtesy
It's a good idea, should you become aware that a fishing tournament is being held at at certain place on a certain date, and want to avoid several hundred rods, to plan to avoid cruising that part of the waterways that day.
Many Boaters will tell you that most fishermen are miserable, grumpy and rude, will never smile, will always believe you're too noisy, or too quiet, going too fast, or too slow, are always in the wrong position - actually 'in the wrong' full stop for being on a boat, and that they are generally a totally impossible to please waste of life sitting for hours in the most hidden part of the towpath moaning about boaters and how hot or cold it is... While this may very well be the case, just slow down, keep in the middle, give a cheery smile and pass in peace - after all, our waterways are enjoyed in many different ways by many different folk...
On no account, after being shunned by a fisherman who fails to acknowledge your cheery smile, avoids eye contact or simply scowls should you shout "Cheer up chuckles, I made the effort to slow down for you, a smile's the least you can do in return"- such fishermen have no sense of humour in this respect.
Getting stuff wrong...
Many believe boating to be a contact sport and accept the odd 'bump' as a right of passage. If you do bump into another boat, simply smile and say sorry - most boaters will know how you feel, may make a slightly cutting comment anyway, but will let it go and probably smile to themselves after you've gone whilst remembering the time they did exactly the same thing.
On very odd occasions you'll find a grumpy and thoroughly nasty old/young git who'll like you to think they've never made a mistake in the history of their boating career, and they may try to give you a pretty hard time. Again, smile, say sorry and pass in peace - you will hardly ever see such situations develop into anything more serious than a few heated words - please do not match 'like for like' if they start to swear or shout at you - just smile, stay calm and say sorry - they then have many other options other than to accept your smile.